In the long arc of human advancement, there’s an essential aspect of our health that remains largely off limits in public discourse. It shapes our biology at the cellular level, influences our psychological well-being, and plays a crucial role in our capacity for personal connection and joy.
Yet despite its profound impact, we often reduce it to whispers, metaphors, and clinical terminology. Though universally relevant, it remains often shrouded in unnecessary mystery and disconnected from holistic wellness conversations.
We’ve been conditioned to think of it in fragments: the physical separate from the emotional, the hormonal distinct from the psychological, the individual divorced from the relational. These artificial divisions mask the truth. In its fullest expression, it is a dynamic interplay of all these elements, each influencing the others. It’s . . .
SEXUAL HEALTH
This issue explores a modern perspective on healthy sexuality, an essential yet often overlooked aspect of well-being and longevity. We invite you to reframe the conversation, moving beyond outdated taboos to embrace a more progressive, intentional approach. By integrating sexual health into your overall wellness journey, you can cultivate a deeper connection with your sexuality, recognize your sexual agency, and elevate your long-term vitality.
“Sexuality is normal. We are sexual beings. When you’re born, you are a sexual being and when you die, you are a sexual being. Why in the world do we make it something that is so wrong and bad and that we have to control?” —Dr. Juliana Hauser
Here’s a curated playlist to enjoy!
WHAT IS HOLISTIC SEXUAL HEALTH?
Beyond an awkward, sterile course in school, sex is largely something we’re left to figure out on our own. This self-guided journey often leads to myths, misinformation, confusion, and a fractured relationship with our own sexuality.
To make matters worse, discussions about sexual health typically fall into two camps:
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Textbook clinical advice
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Oversimplified “spice your love life” tips
More often, it’s simply not discussed at all.
For many, our earliest experiences with sex inform our views about it as adults. Movies, TV, and pornography create unhealthy or unrealistic perceptions. Religion, family dynamics, or a sexually repressed culture can instill shame, discomfort, or detachment about one of humankind’s most fundamental expressions of intimacy. But sexual health is critical for our overall well-being.
That’s because true sexual health is about a profound capacity for pleasure, connection, and passion. It’s about aliveness. Fullness. Psychological freedom. The ability to explore desires without guilt or anxiety.
How you relate to your sexuality mirrors how you relate to life itself. Are you suffocating under shame and self-reproach or allowing yourself to experience the fullness of your being? When you look deeper, the real question then becomes:
“How alive do I feel in my sexuality?”
At the first Eudēmonia Summit, Dr. Juliana Hauser examined the intersection of sexual health, self-awareness, and relationships. An integrative sex therapist and relationship counselor, Dr. Hauser offered a powerful framework for understanding desire, communication, and intimacy.
“Sexuality is the final frontier of self development. . . . Sexuality is the essence of who you are. It is the pathway to know who you are. It is a beautiful expression of who you are. If you want to feel genuine connection, then you have to know who you are.” —Dr. Juliana Hauser
At the core of her talk was “holistic sexuality,” a perspective that moves beyond conventional views to redefine sexuality as:
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Evolving: not static, but constantly shifting throughout life
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Empowering: not a problem to be controlled, but a force to be harnessed
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Contextual: shaped by both personal experiences and cultural influences
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Fluid and self-defining: a dynamic aspect of identity
Sexuality is not a luxury but a fundamental part of the human experience, a lifelong source of connection and self-discovery. And at the foundation of it all, according to Dr. Hauser, is sexual agency. Sexual agency means:
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Knowing and living by your own terms,
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Understanding what you want and don’t want, and
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Having the clarity to communicate those boundaries with confidence and integrity.
Sexual agency is the key to a fulfilling sex life. It can be a superpower that shapes not just sexuality, but all aspects of life.
So let’s help you discover your sexual agency.
“Be proud of who you are in your orientation and your gender and your self-expression and always be somebody who is lifting somebody up in who they are as a sexual being, too.” —Dr. Juliana Hauser
THE NINE PILLARS OF HOLISTIC SEXUALITY
To start, let’s look at Dr. Hauser’s Nine Pillars of Holistic Sexuality, an evolution and expansion of Dennis Dailey’s “Circles of Sexuality,” which offer an integrative perspective on sexuality. The Nine Pillars form a lens through which we can look at the interconnected elements that inform a holistic approach to sexuality.
01. Sensuality
Unlike sexuality, sensuality is about experiencing the mind–body connection through sight, taste, touch, sound, and smell.
02. Physical Health & Reproduction
Sexual well-being is deeply connected to overall physical health, and it requires access to informed, respectful, and nonjudgmental medical care. This pillar of holistic sexuality highlights the importance of bodily autonomy, reproductive health, and the role of healthcare providers in supporting an individual’s sexual well-being.
03. Pleasure
Cultivating everyday enjoyment—both sexual and non-sexual—helps us develop a healthier, more intentional approach to desire. You can explore sensations of pleasure with another person, as embracing curiosity about others’ pleasure fosters a broader, more accepting view of sensual fulfillment. Or you can embrace self-pleasure, which sex educator Betty Dodson called a birthright, essential for self-discovery and confidence.
04. Desire
Dr. Hauser sees desire as an evolving relationship, nurtured by focusing on sensuality and pleasure beyond sex. Desire reflects overall engagement with life. A disconnect in sexual desire often mirrors stagnation elsewhere. Reigniting passion in non-sexual areas can create a ripple effect, enhancing intimate relationships as well. Like a fire, desire needs tending to stay alive.
05. Acts of Interest
Exploring fantasies, kinks, and boundaries is part of understanding desire. Trying new things is the only way to discover new yeses and noes in your own sexual life.
“When someone comes back to me and they’re like, ‘That was awful. It was horrible. It was messy. It was gross.’ I’m like, well, that sounds like sex. Not always awful, obviously, but sex is weird. I mean, think about just the fluids and the noises and the positions and all the things that we do. It’s so bizarre . . . and it brings us pleasure sometimes. It’s fabulous.” —Dr. Juliana Hauser
06. Intersecting Identities
Factors like race, culture, age, religion, geography, and political climate all intersect to inform your sexual identity. Understanding these influences—how they shape desires, beliefs, and relationships—is essential to self-awareness.
07. Power & Trauma
Power dynamics—whether explicit or subtle—can shape attraction, boundaries, and experiences. Examining these dynamics is key to a conscious, empowered approach to sexuality.
08. Relationships
Understanding our attachment styles, communication patterns, and relationship dynamics directly impacts intimacy. Research consistently shows that healthy relationships of all kinds enhance overall well-being.
09. Connection
Sexual health begins with the relationship you have with yourself. Connection—being seen, wanted, and valued—is central to our purpose and essential in both sexual and non-sexual relationships. Dr. Hauser encourages asking yourself these questions:
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How do I like to be seen?
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How do I know I’m wanted?
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How do I know I’m valued?
SEXUAL HEALTH AND LONGEVITY
Looking at sexual health through a longevity lens, several key factors emerge.
Physical Wellness and Preventative Care
Sexual activity can provide cardiovascular benefits, improve immune function, and help maintain physical functionality as we age. Even without sexual activity, maintaining sexual health through proper hygiene, regular medical care, and understanding our bodies contributes to overall physical wellness. Regular attention to sexual health often leads to earlier detection of potential health issues, as many systemic health problems first show signs through changes in sexual function.
Stress Regulation and Mental Wellness
A healthy sexual life, whether solo or partnered, can help regulate stress hormones and promote relaxation. A strong relationship with our sexuality fosters improved self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and improved body image, all of which contribute to mental well-being. As Dr. Hauser discusses, being “embodied”—fully present in our bodies and comfortable with our sexual selves—helps us maintain better overall body awareness, leading to better self-care practices.
Sustained Intimacy and Relational Wellness
Understanding our sexual side helps us form more authentic connections with others. The ability to maintain intimate connections (whether sexual or not) throughout life supports better health outcomes and increased longevity.
Taking a comprehensive view of sexual health supports not just longer life, but better quality of life throughout our years. Prioritizing our sexual health contributes to what we might call “healthy longevity”—the ability to maintain vitality and well-being throughout our lifespan.
IT’S MY PLEASURE: 11 WAYS TO ELEVATE YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH
So how can you improve your own sexual health? Here are 11 practices to choose from.
01. Establish a Sensory Exploration Practice
Dedicate 15 minutes a day to experiencing sensations unrelated to sex. This could involve feeling different textures, mindfully tasting food, or focusing on scents. This builds our capacity for sensual awareness, which translates to better sexual embodiment. Get specific by noting three distinct sensations you experience during each practice.
02. Create a Desire Map
Maintain a detailed journal documenting both your turn-ons and turn-offs. Include contextual factors like time of day, stress levels, and environmental conditions. Review this monthly to identify patterns and optimize your sexual well-being.
03. Cultivate Erotic Energy
Schedule two 30-minute sessions weekly for activities that make you feel alive and vibrant, completely separate from sex. This might be dance, art, or any form of self-expression. The key is choosing activities that connect you to your life force energy–what psychotherapist Esther Perel calls “erotic energy.”
04. Develop a Body Liberation Ritual
Stand naked in front of a mirror for five minutes daily, practicing what Dr. Hauser calls “agency work.” Name three things you appreciate about your body, other than appearance. This builds comfort and reduces shame.
05. Complete the Stress Cycle
Inspired by Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, this practice involves 20 minutes of daily physical activity to release stored stress. Engage in vigorous exercise, dance, or even primal screaming into a pillow. Move until you feel a physical shift.
06. Practice Pleasure Mapping
Inspired by Dr. Hauser’s pleasure pillar, dedicate 15 minutes twice a week to discovering areas of comfort and enjoyment through non-genital touch. Experiment with varying pressures, temperatures, and textures, paying attention to how your body responds. Observe and document sensations without judgment.
07. Establish Boundary Check-Ins
Set a weekly practice to review and update your sexual boundaries. Write down what feels like a “hell yes,” a “maybe,” and a “no.” Or use Dr. Hauser’s method: label experiences as Yum or Yuck. Notice how these evolve over time and, if applicable, share them with partners.
08. Create Desire Distance
If you’re in a relationship, introduce intentional periods of space—what Esther Perel calls “artificial distance.” This could mean occasionally sleeping apart or taking solo trips. The goal is to balance intimacy with autonomy, sustaining attraction over time.
09. Integrate Your Sexual Story
Following Dr. Hauser’s framework, spend 30 minutes weekly writing about a specific sexual memory or experience. Reflect on how it has shaped your current self—without judgment.
10. Advocate for Your Sexual Health
Schedule quarterly medical check-ups specifically focused on sexual wellness. Prepare your questions in advance and practice stating them aloud so you’ll feel less awkward. If a provider seems uncomfortable, seek one who specializes in sexual health.
11. Work With a Sex Therapist
A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional (psychologist, social worker, or marriage and family therapist) with specialized training in sexual health and relationships. Think of them as a bridge between traditional therapy and deep expertise in intimacy.
Remember, these practices should be approached with curiosity and self-compassion. Start with the one that resonates most strongly and gradually incorporate others. The goal isn’t perfection but building a sustainable, lifelong approach to sexual well-being. These practices can be modified based on your comfort level and specific needs.
Consistency is more important than intensity–small, regular steps toward sexual wellness will create more lasting change than sporadic, intense efforts. The key is creating practices that you can maintain over time, adjusting them based on your circumstances and evolving understanding of your sexual self.
PORNOGRAPHY AND SEXUAL HEALTH
It’s essential that we acknowledge pornography, which presents a complex dynamic from a holistic sexuality perspective. It can serve as entertainment, education, fantasy, or a tool for arousal. That makes it critical to understand for both its potential benefits and pitfalls.
Entertainment vs. Reality
It’s critical to remember that mainstream porn is designed for entertainment, not education. It often portrays unrealistic bodies, pleasure, and sexual dynamics, which can create misconceptions—especially in the absence of comprehensive sex education.
Psychological Impact
Moderate porn consumption can be part of a varied, healthy sexual life. But excessive use may shape arousal patterns and expectations, particularly for younger viewers whose sexual responses are still developing.
Porn in Relationships
Open communication is key. Discussing boundaries ensures alignment and mutual comfort.
Key Considerations for Sexual Health
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Body Image: Unrealistic portrayals can impact self-confidence and sexual satisfaction. Seeking diverse representations can help.
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Sexual Expectations: Porn often distorts real-world intimacy and response. Awareness helps prevent unrealistic standards within real relationships.
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Ethics: Supporting ethical porn (fair wages, consensual participation) contributes to healthier industry practice
For those struggling with compulsive porn use, sex therapists can help explore alternative ways to engage with desire, manage triggers, and develop a healthier relationship with sexual content.
YOUR PATH TO SEXUAL HEALTH
The path to sexual health is one of self-awakening, discovery, and compassion. It’s a journey that asks us to be brave enough to question inherited beliefs, patient enough to unlearn what no longer serves us, and wise enough to hold space for our own evolution. Whether you’re exploring sensuality for the first time, healing from past experiences, or deepening your capacity for intimacy, you’re engaging in the fundamental human work of becoming more fully yourself.
“I want you to feel a boost of bravery. . . . I want you to go out into the world and start talking about your sexual life in a different way, on a different scale. That’s a movement that needs to happen.” —Dr. Juliana Hauser
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