This Catch and Release story comes from a story told to me and a friend. “Beth” is hysterical with such an awesome sense of humor and I wish that I could video her telling the story so you could laugh at her presentation and reenactment of it. This story reminds me of when you are with a group of friends sitting around and you start telling ‘top it stories’ and someone tells one that can’t be topped. That drop the mic moment. Here it is.
A little bit about “Beth”. She has lived an exciting life and has lots of colorful stories that are fascinating. She is fun and funny and has a great heart. She is beautiful and genuine and someone you want to be around.
And Beth is set up on a blind date. She is moderately interested in this set up and fairly excited about meeting him. The details about him seemed promisingly but after having blind dates before she knew not to put too much hope into it until she saw him.
You know the drill. You have to keep putting yourself out there. You never know, the next one could be THE one. Your friend recommended him so why not?
But its exhausting and sometimes boring and other times disheartening. Some dates you really wished you had stayed home and finished your Netflix binge and other times you regret not shaving with purpose because this may end up being a great night. You just never know.
So you strike the balance of effort but not too much effort. Hope but not too much hope.
And you give yourself a little pep talk and head over to the meeting place.
This is what Beth does.
She’s looking cute, the closer she gets to where they are meeting the more her excitement grows. By the time she gets there, her smile is real and her eagerness has peaked. This may be a good night!
She stands there and sees this guy walking up to her. Not bad. Alright. Thank you friend who set me up…..
They are now within enough proximity that they could shake hands.
He looks at her and says “Nah, I’m not feeling it.” And turns around and walks away.
“NAH. I’M NOT FEELING IT”!!!!???!! AND WALKS AWAY???
She stood there for awhile in disbelief then went to her car and went home. Kind of like a ‘hmmphf’ kind of reaction.
When she told this story, it was so damn funny.
Did you gasp when you read it? I did. Did you go quickly into horror and WTH? I did. Did you then progress to anger and I can’t imagine if that happened to me? Me too.
And if you knew Beth. You’d think ‘How could some sorry bastard say that to this woman?’. She’s not a woman you walk away from. You are lucky to have time with her.
But then you’d have such a hard time getting over how funny she made the story that you’d move back into her space of seeing the lightness in his heartlessness.
It was mean. It was cruel. It is shocking. And it was direct.
And what a favor he did for her. Dick.
I never asked her what she learned from that experience so I am going to share what I learned about myself because of it.
Her story reminds me of that commercial out right now that has the couple on a date saying the things we would say to each other if we were being honest. My favorite line is when he says “My mom is my best friend.” And she returns with “Uh.Oh!”. It is ridiculous and over the top but I get it the point.
We can often size each other up quickly and stick with that first impression but we push through and ignore the mismatches out of politeness, hope and ‘you never know’s’. Absolutely what he did was horrible because of his delivery but I do agree that we should find a middle place when chemistry isn’t there and we ‘aren’t feeling it’. How many times do we push through it and stay way too long? One dinner isn’t too long for goodness sakes but how many times do we stay weeks or months or years when we KNOW.
How does that look to set that boundary in a loving and kind way?
I also love how Beth reacted to the rejection . After I picked my jaw off of the ground, I think I would have cried on the way back home. And later. And felt mad and hurt. I would have been the perfect rejection limo interview on The Bachelor. A blubbering, wounded mess. It is so important to be able to take rejection gracefully and not personally.
So I’m sending Beth a high five and a thank you for her graceful, light spirit and can’t wait to hear the story of the guy who walks up to her says “Wow. This is going to be a great night. I’m so happy to meet you.”